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November 12, 2012
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Hookah Dungeon by J-Humphries Hookah Dungeon by J-Humphries
Critique requested: please tell me what looks stupid or sloppy or whatever. How could this piece be improved?


Hookah Dungeon. It's a great place to smoke, and you can buy used robots there. Lots of junkies though, hopped up on some kind of Scifi drug called Fade.

Honestly, coming up with these scifi drug names is more fun that painting, so here's a bunch more that they're probably on:

Shyr
Voyd
Evil
Zylodine
Skag

BTW Cyberpunk > Steampunk (at least right now. Cyberpunk actually has, well, punks.)
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:icondrd-no:
DrD-no Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012   Digital Artist
"Duuuuuude... there's like... a robot hanging in my room, man...."

Very good work.
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:iconeliminate:
Eliminate Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
\o/ sci fi drugs. awesome concept. also cyberpunk will forever be superior.
I'll try to find some crit - what's your desired focal point? Right now my eye is drawn to the area of light under the center robot and the odd house shaped box under him. Not exactly sure how that's supposed to read, but with maybe more rendering of the ground texture (right now i can see the custom brush edges, maybe a fade out could help) or a clear cast shadow under him it could 'ground' the image more. hope that helps!
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:iconreganov:
Reganov Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012   Digital Artist
Really awesome work, good general lighting
-The only thing I would suggest is clean up and put a bit more time into the hanging robot, maybe add more lighting to it. Judging from the light on the round it has a very distinct light source above it. The robot to the left could probably have a bit more shine to balance it out too.
-The hanging robots leg could be slighter smaller, and it's right upper arm could be longer with a slightly shorter fore-arm.
-Smoke is brighter in a light source too, if you wanted you could actually add some lighting to it where it comes out from under the tent.
-I also agree with what someone said about the mans head, it could be less of a side profile.


Hmm actually, rather than just suggest things; [link]
red lines are just unbalanced points and tangents, It's hard to avoid tangents. I wasn't sure what to do with the pipe cord tangent, I think it's fine where you have it.
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:iconorcbruto:
orcbruto Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Wow! Very cool! I liked the arab guy with a mechanic hand =D
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:iconportuguesemutt:
portuguesemutt Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
First, I'd like to say I like the colors and the lighting, and the smokey effect.
Constructively, I'd point out that you need to work on perspective proportions. Also, the foreground is too sharp of a contrast from the background. Especially the metal in comparison to the earthy walls.
The human with the mechanical arm looks awesome, but the angle is a little confusing, I can't tell if he's looking AT the robot hanging, or just in the general direction.
The robot itself also looks really cool, but the leg... something about it looks wrong. I can't quite put my finger on it.
It's not a bad thing, but your composition is a little odd too. It's very very cluttered to the left, and my eyes want to gravitate there. Honestly, I'm drawn to the door way more than anything. Maybe a different angle, or just shifted over, or something more on the right to balance it out.
Again, even past that, this is a great piece. I really like it a lot, it's got a lot of detail in it, and you've got great technique. Keep it up.
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:iconj-humphries:
J-Humphries Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
All good points; thanks for taking the time. The basic perspective of the room was blocked out in 3D, so I assume you're talking about the scale relation of objects that are scattered about the room.
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:iconportuguesemutt:
portuguesemutt Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Probably. The angles and lines are good, but certain things look wrong.
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:iconronaldo9999:
ronaldo9999 Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012
nice work i like the Middleastern feel
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:iconwuestenbrand:
wuestenbrand Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Great Work .. :D ..
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